Bubble
Gum Gangster
Association!
FAMILY PROFILES 11 - 20
| BBGA PROFILE #11 |
NAME: Matty 9 a.k.a Brain-dead
RANK: Close Family Associate - He knows a guy who knows a guy who has a friend who's cousin is dating a girl who's neighbor went to school with a kid who's father worked for a diner where a soldier from the Cabadosta Family used to eat.
ADDRESS: Meat Packing Facility -Down South
PHONE: 1-800- THUMANS (AINT 4 HUMANS)
OCCUPATION: Slaughterhouse Manager; Distributor Relations. Co-Founder: "McMADD" - (McD Mostly Always Drives Drunk). President: Pee Wee Herman International Fan Club for boys.
Job Description: Mad Cow Disease Inspector (Click Here For Mad Cow Disease Diagnosis).
RAP SHEET: Driving While Intoxicated - DWI; Drinking While Intoxicated - DWI; Walking While Intoxicated - WWI
Intoxicated While Intoxicated - IWI; Conducting AA Meetings While Intoxicated - AAWI; Smuggling Oscar Myer Wieners between NY and VA.
HOBBIES: Pickin his nose in public; Pickin his friends nose in public; pillow fighting.
SKILLS: Hangin' out in the school yard; champion thumb wrestler (ranked 1499 out of 1500 members of the National Thumb Wrestlers Federation) His only win came against Joey "No Thumbs" McCormick, who lost both his thumbs to Gagootz for not payin a vig.
| BBGA PROFILE #12 |
Name: Johnny Salami
Phone: 1800 Yuk yuk yuk
Address: Unknown
Rank: Capo de Coldcutz
Occupation: Hero King, Pickle Plucker, Twinkies Distributor, Wiseguyz Radio, Suicide Hotline Counselor
Rap Sheet: Smuggling Twinkies into Weight Watchers Meeting, Pillow Fighting at Mens Strip Club, Impersonating Curly Q ( Y soitanly)
Hobbies: Pres. Kardashians For Life Fan Club, Used QTips Collector
Skills: Paint By Numbers and Etch a Sketch Champ
Website: http://www.theheroking.com
| BBGA PROFILE #13 |
NAME:
“ROCK” a.k.a “ONE-EYE RAY IN L.A.”
PHONE: 1-911-BREAK-YA-FACE
ADDRESS: None a ya business
RANK: Capo De Misery
OCCUPATION: Binocular Salesman; Male Ballerina; Union Delegate; and other stuff that you don't wanna know about.
JOB DESCRIPTION: Connected! (AT&T); Union stuff; Doin’ dings
RAP SHEET: Yes (call for references)
HOBBIES: Breakin’ heads; Whackin’ guys out; Liftin’ weights; Spellin’ Bee; Boxin’ (Bananas on Pier 11); President of Richard Simmons Fan Club
SKILLS: Undetermined
| BBGA PROFILE #14 |
PHOTO TO COME
NAME:
“DERF” a.k.a “DERF”
PHONE: 1-666-SMACK-U
ADDRESS: Pier 11 = Redhook
RANK: Capo De Cushine
OCCUPATION: Hatch Boss; Stripper; Belly Dancer; Latrine Orderly
JOB DESCRIPTION: Inventory; Payroll; Shipping; Receiving; Not Receiving
RAP SHEET: Smugglin’; Pimpin’; Lap Dancin’ wit Non-Union Labor
HOBBIES: Tiddly Winks Champ; Smackin’ Mooks; Fightin’; Clubbin’
SKILLS: Ballroom dancin’; Stuffin’ ricotta into raviolis
| BBGA PROFILE #15 |
NAME:
“JOHNNY BOY” a.k.a. “PROFESSOR”
PHONE: 1-800-GRANDMASTER
ADDRESS: No……He Wears Pants.
RANK: Capo De Morte – Bodyguard to da President
OCCUPATION: Garbage Man; President of Fairy Fu Martial Arts
JOB DESCRIPTION: Protection; Protection; Protection
RAP SHEET: Assault; Aggravated Assault; Pre-Meditated Assault; Pre-Meditated Aggravated Assault; Assault Wit Intent To Commit Bodily Harm; Spontaneous Assault; Aggravated While Assaulting
HOBBIES: Martial Arts; Watchin’ Kung Fu movies; Eatin’ Chinese food; Chinese Checkers; Ballet
SKILLS: 12th Degree Pink Belt; Paint-By-Numbers
| BBGA PROFILE #16 |
PHOTO TO COME
NAME: “JOHNNY
G" a.k.a “THE BRAIN”
PHONE: 1-900-I’M-A-FRIGGIN-GENIUS
ADDRESS: The “Lab”
RANK: Capo De Musica
OCCUPATION: Musician; Babysitter; Secretary; Librarian
JOB DESCRIPTION: President of Partridge Family Fan Club; Changin’ Dirty Diapers; President of Archie Comic Books
RAP SHEET: Extortion; Loansharkin’; Jay Walkin’; Smokin’ In The Boys’ Room; Paddle Boardin’
HOBBIES: Surfin’; Playin’ music; Readin’; Thinkin’; Fartin’
SKILLS: Decomposin’ music; Playin’ bass; Negotiatin’ business
BBGA PROFILE #17
NAME:
“CARMINE” a.k.a “THE BIG RAGU”
PHONE: 1-800-BACCALA
ADDRESS: The Dugout
RANK: Capo De Chinno
OCCUPATION: Pipefitter; Hand & Foot Model; President Barry Manilow Fan Club
JOB DESCRIPTION: Fixin’ Dings; Breakin’ Dings; Lookin’ For Dings
RAP SHEET: Narcotics; Disco Dancin’ In Mosh Pitt; Cross Dresser
HOBBIES: Partyin’; Dancin’; Softball; Playin’ Parhcese; gettin his cheeks waxed in the west village.
SKILLS: Manicures & Pedicures; Disassemblin’ Dings & People
BBGA PROFILE #18
Name: Ray da Caterer aka Slicer
Phone: 1 800 Meathead
Address: 69 Rump Alley Nutley NJ
Rank: Capo de Cappicola
Occupation: Hero King Deli Owner Babysitting Flatulence Fragrance Inspector Wiseguyz Radio Sitdown Comedian
Rap Sheet: Smugglin’; Unlawful Sales of Expiration Date Bologna Flipping Boogerz behind counter at Hero King
Hobbies: Rodeo hog-riding Champ and Hopscotch gold medalist
Skills: Cow colonoscopy technician
Website: http://www.theheroking.com
BBGA PROFILE #19
Name:
Freddy da Fireman
Phone:
1 900 Brain Dead
Address:
1 Fire hydrant Alley Newark NJ
Rank:
Capo de Radio
Occupation: Girl Scouts Campfire Coordinator Opera Recording Artist Broadcaster Wiseguyz Show
Rap
Sheet: Singin off Key Impersonating a Radio Host Break Dancing in Church
Hobbies:
Lingerie Model Figure Skating Lightning Bug Hunter
Skills:
Gold Medalist Flaming Fart Competition 
BBGA PROFILE #20
PHOTO TO COME
NAME: “CATO”
a.k.a.
“CATO”
PHONE: 1-888- I’M-A-MOOK
ADDRESS: Refrigerator Box on Venice Beach
RANK: Capo De Mamone
OCCUPATION: Stock Broker; Chairman of the Board; Rainbow Coalition
JOB DESCRIPTION: Makin’ $$; Stealin’ $$; Printin’ $$; Condom Salesman
RAP SHEET: Racketeerin’; Tax Evasion; Sexual Solicitation; Possession; Distribution of Exotic Narcotics
HOBBIES: Bitin’ Toenails In Public; Gaybashin’; Etch-a-Sketch Champ
SKILLS: Tattoo Artist; Magician; Hallucinatin’
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gomma da masticare (bubblegum gangsters) |
casa bella (home) |
la cosa nostra (join the family) |
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farfallone (rudy vazzelino) |
(leave your comments) Please don't forget to sign da guestbook or I'll give you a smack!
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stupido (mamaluke) |
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weight loss drink
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m.o.b. financial (paulie gabagool) |
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(bubblegum broadcasting) |
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